Grade School Science

Why I'm not a scientist

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Starting fourth grade meant moving up to the intermediate school. I was 8 years old and feeling very grown up. It was a high-pressure situation though, as we were now going to have to branch out and fend for ourselves – aka walk to a different room just down the hall for some of our classes. This was ground-breaking for me. What was going to happen next? Well, I’ll tell you. My new teacher, Miss Stone, told us she’d be taking us to the laboratory twice a day. I was psyched! I loved art class, but I also really enjoyed science. I had no idea we’d be doing so many experiments.

I was totally crestfallen when we all lined up, single file boys and girls, and went to…the bathroom. I’d never heard the term lavatory before. What a huge disappointment.

Speaking of grade school science, I recall an entire month of May when every day we were going to be studying the sun. Paperclipping a piece of paper over part of a leaf and seeing what happened over time, using radiometers and prisms, and basic solar studies. The sun didn't shine once that entire month. In fact, it rained so much, the school district closed all the schools and declared a Flood Day. I’d never had one of those before or since. We never got to do any of the experiments they had planned for us. I’m still not sure I understand how photosynthesis works.

I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. The Binghamton, New York area is notoriously gloomy. When I was in a very early grade at school, a question on a test was “What color is the sky?” I put grey and it was marked wrong. Apparently, the answer was supposed to be blue. Nowadays I could have stood up for myself and shown the teacher a Google search that says Binghamton is cloudy 86% of the year. Then I was helpless and just had to take the points off. I lost the battle but won the war. I moved.